“A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.” – proverb
i hesitate all the time.
i’m scared to make mistakes – even though i know logically, mistakes are how we learn.
i feel like once i’m “there” - then i’ll do “it”.
i’m scared to do something that i’ll later regret, or feel ashamed or embarrassed of.
like what?
dying my hair blond or red or pink or whatever.
getting a tattoo.
saying something that’s on my mind.
speaking in a certain way.
writing or videoing something.
confronting someone.
making a stand or voicing my opinion.
i have this idea that once i know who i really am – i mean really know – then i’ll know all the right things to do - i’ll know how to embody myself perfectly…..
and this perception keeps me utterly stuck.
and then i got to thinking………
- what if the makers of Starwars had never made the film, because they knew that one day the technology they were using would be outdated and they could make a way better version in the future?
(Starwars would probably never have been made, they’d still be waiting for the perfect technology - holding themselves back, saying stuff like “in a few years we’ll be able to release the perfect version of this – people will die watching it because they’ll love it so much”. and the world would be a poorer place.)
and then i got to thinking………..
my daughter is the perfect teacher.
she gets a free reign on what she wears – anything goes – i trust her to choose what’s right for her (this has not been easy). some days it’s PJ’s to the supermarket, princess dresses, skirts pulled up to her armpits made to look like strapless tops, too big belts, dresses over pants, singlets over t-shirts, paper streamers stuck to tops, scarves in all sorts of interesting ways. some days she asks me to put a plait on each side of her head and one down the back, 3 plaits – i find this particularly distressing.
yes – she’s a total hipster.
she trusts herself and her judgment, and she always chooses what feels good and right to her in any given moment.
and when it stops feeling good – she changes.
it’s not unusual to see as many as 4-5 different outfits in one day.
she’s unafraid to express herself, or make a mistake.
so i ask myself “how can i be unafraid to express myself?”
by trusting that who i am now, is not who i will be one year from now, 10 years from now, or even tomorrow.
nor do i want it to be.
and if i am not true to myself in this moment, i mean this moment right now, then that evolution of self slows down, and i remain stuck, waiting to be the perfect expression of myself. staying the same. staying scared.
and the only real way to stop being afraid, is to walk through the fear.
do the things that i really want to do – that i feel afraid of – with compassion for myself, instead of the strict idea that i have to have all the answers and get it all right.
and maybe it’s about re-phrasing it – so that it’s about trying new things to see what feels good to me – just as my daughter tries a million different outfits and dance moves.
so here’s my plan – for the next week i will do one thing a day that scares me.
it scares me even just to type that, because i have no idea what im going to do. but the idea is to coax my true nature out of her shell and into the sunlight.
i’ll keep you posted on how it goes.
and if you feel like joining me in this, i would love to have a friend to walk the path with.
consider this post your invitation to dip your toe into the deep sea of your true nature.
here are some pictures of my little guru – my personal favourites are the rainbow shoes.
love always
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I love those words “she trusts herself and her judgement and when it stops feeling good – she changes”. We have so much to learn from our little ones, after all they are a reflection of who we are but without all of the insecurities and fears of being judged. I have learned so much from my little “gurus” and my fears of being judged have been diminished and replaced by a confidence to express myself, however I still have a long way to go! You are so inspiring! I’m going to start today and dip my toe in…
that’s so true that our little ones are a reflection of us (though they’re also themselves) and so true that they don’t have the self judgment or fears we have….they know they’re unconditionally loved by the people who are most important to them so what is there to fear or worry about? i can’t wait to hear how you’ll take up this challenge and what it will look like for you to dip your toe in….keep me posted <3
On my first day I went and sat beside a lady who was on a bench crying by herself, and started a conversation that ended in her being grateful…On the second day I spoke up for myself when I had bought some expired product, hard for someone who doesn’t like making ripples!…Day three saw me asking questions at a study day, actually asking real questions not just wishing I had the courage to speak up…In my week of facing daily challenges there was only one day where it came to 10.30pm and I had not faced anything scary…I was at work and delegated to my student nurse who was scared at the end of her first shift to handover onto the dictophone. I told her about my challenge and delegated it to her, which I might add she did fabulously well…such an exciting week not knowing what I was going to meet that day and waiting for that little pang of nervousness to set in and remind me it’s time to step up!
Ahhhh i was so happy to read this! isn’t it awesome that instead of feeling annoyed or frustrated or stuck (how i feel if i stick to my usual patterns) that you noticed the feeling of “oh its time for me to step up….and it’s so true there is a little pang of nervousness that goes with it. i like to think it’s adrenaline pushing us through our fears. and for me it’s definitely a confidence booster to do the things i’m a little afraid of. so thrilled you found it exciting….reminds me to step up again – thank you xx