“A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.” – proverb
i hesitate all the time.
i’m scared to make mistakes – even though i know logically, mistakes are how we learn.
i feel like once i’m “there” - then i’ll do “it”.
i’m scared to do something that i’ll later regret, or feel ashamed or embarrassed of.
dying my hair blond or red or pink or whatever.
getting a tattoo.
saying something that’s on my mind.
speaking in a certain way.
writing or videoing something.
making a stand or voicing my opinion.
i have this idea that once i know who i really am – i mean really know – then i’ll know all the right things to do - i’ll know how to embody myself perfectly…..
and this perception keeps me utterly stuck.
and then i got to thinking………
- what if the makers of Starwars had never made the film, because they knew that one day the technology they were using would be outdated and they could make a way better version in the future?
(Starwars would probably never have been made, they’d still be waiting for the perfect technology - holding themselves back, saying stuff like “in a few years we’ll be able to release the perfect version of this – people will die watching it because they’ll love it so much”. and the world would be a poorer place.)
and then i got to thinking………..
my daughter is the perfect teacher.
she gets a free reign on what she wears – anything goes – i trust her to choose what’s right for her (this has not been easy). some days it’s PJ’s to the supermarket, princess dresses, skirts pulled up to her armpits made to look like strapless tops, too big belts, dresses over pants, singlets over t-shirts, paper streamers stuck to tops, scarves in all sorts of interesting ways. some days she asks me to put a plait on each side of her head and one down the back, 3 plaits – i find this particularly distressing.
yes – she’s a total hipster.
she trusts herself and her judgment, and she always chooses what feels good and right to her in any given moment.
and when it stops feeling good – she changes.
it’s not unusual to see as many as 4-5 different outfits in one day.
she’s unafraid to express herself, or make a mistake.
so i ask myself “how can i be unafraid to express myself?”
by trusting that who i am now, is not who i will be one year from now, 10 years from now, or even tomorrow.
nor do i want it to be.
and if i am not true to myself in this moment, i mean this moment right now, then that evolution of self slows down, and i remain stuck, waiting to be the perfect expression of myself. staying the same. staying scared.
and the only real way to stop being afraid, is to walk through the fear.
do the things that i really want to do – that i feel afraid of – with compassion for myself, instead of the strict idea that i have to have all the answers and get it all right.
and maybe it’s about re-phrasing it – so that it’s about trying new things to see what feels good to me – just as my daughter tries a million different outfits and dance moves.
so here’s my plan – for the next week i will do one thing a day that scares me.
it scares me even just to type that, because i have no idea what im going to do. but the idea is to coax my true nature out of her shell and into the sunlight.
i’ll keep you posted on how it goes.
and if you feel like joining me in this, i would love to have a friend to walk the path with.
consider this post your invitation to dip your toe into the deep sea of your true nature.
here are some pictures of my little guru – my personal favourites are the rainbow shoes.