Your heart knows the way
Run in that direction - Rumi
(If you're looking for the H O W - T O, skip to the bottom of the page - I see you, busy woman on a mission!)
All of us, (ok not all of us, but if you're reading this, then probably you,) have an idea of who we are - and then - over there across the bridge, some where far off (or maybe not so far off), is the kind of woman we want to be.
You know who I'm talking about - it's the you you wish you were more like.
It might be a more organised version of you, a more relaxed version of yourself, a more successful you or a more confident you..........
Now to be honest with you, I'm all about loving yourself wherever you are now.
I also know how good it feels when we bring ourselves into alignment with who we really are - and who you really are - is who your heart longs to be - actually, it's who you already are.
I know that sounds like a riddle, but stick with me.
Using the phrase "I'm a woman who.........." can be a powerful tool in helping you become more like the you you want to be, because it reminds you who you are. It makes the you you want to be real, not in a "some-day" kind of way, but right now. By doing this, you bring the real you into being
I use it like this.......
"I'm a woman who takes excellent care of herself"
So sometimes I'm guilty of being lazy, and although the lazy things I do seem ok at the time - and not particularly harmful, they actually chip away at me, I feel "less than" because of my behaviour.
So what do I do, you ask?
I do things like - eat toast for dinner, avoid paying bills for no good reason, I stay up way too late, I stay in bed until the very last minute that I have to get up, I avoid cleaning my bathroom for longer than I like to admit - I leave things to the last minute, I cruise facebook before bed - and then sometimes make my way to instagram too, I get through the day with one glass of water under my belt, I talk mean to myself in my head, I have vitamins sitting in my cupboard - untaken, I start a bunch of projects and don't finish one, and oh my - I don't exercise regularly (something my body doesn't thank me for) ..............
All this and more!
And at the time, when I'm eating toast for dinner - or watching some x-factor thing on facebook, I don't notice how bad it is - it doesn't seem destructive or damaging, but I go to bed sad, feeling ugh, and small and not at all like the woman I know I am. Usually none of this gets articulated, I just feel tired and kind of stressed.
So,now I've made it my daily, hourly, - anytime I do anything - phrase to ask myself. "What would a woman who takes excellent care of herself do? - How would she do it? - Would a woman who takes excellent care of herself do this?"
It's changed things.
A woman who takes excellent care of herself cleans her damn bathroom - not because someone's coming over, but because it feels better to live that way.
I enjoy things more, I take time to light candles and water my plants, I organise my time better, I indulge my love of photography, I talk with my sister, and make time for friends, I enjoy sunrises and mountains, I slow down - and get more done. Life becomes richer when I'm a woman who looks after herself. I value myself more - and by taking care of myself, I teach others how I like to be treated, and so I experience other people valuing me in their own way.
Using this phrase brings more of what you want to experience into your life.
It shapes you into being, not through discipline, or punishments, or goal setting, not through rewards or cajoling - but by listening to what you yearn for, you can hear the clue of the direction your being called towards - which means - you become more vibrant, more beautiful - a greater version of yourself, things you thought weren't going to work out start happening for you, your relationships become richer, your life starts to feel magical and fulfilling.
When I'm a woman who's taking excellent care of myself, I feel so much better. Instead of chipping away at myself, I feel strengthened, nourished and radiant - it means I've got way more to offer the world, I'm a better mum, wife, friend, sister, coach - everything in my life benefits when I give myself what I yearn for.
It becomes less of a "have to" and more of a "want to"
So in my normal life, cleaning my bathroom is the last thing on my list - and when I finally do clean it, I'm annoyed that I actually have to clean it. BUT when I'm taking excellent care of myself, I enjoy cleaning the bathroom, because it feels like an act of care towards ME, not something I'm forcing myself to do. When I drink water because I'm taking care of myself, I feel excited by the possibility of what that water is doing for my body. When I exercise because I'm taking care of myself, I feel stronger, more alive and like I'm actually ageing backwards!
OVER TO YOU
What are you yearning for?
What do you want to experience more of in your life?
What's the crappy thing going on for you at the moment - the area you'd most like to change? If you could transform that situation how would you ideally feel?
It might sound like; I don't want to feel so rattled when I'm around my boss, or I want to feel less tired and stressed and more energised, or I want to be kinder to my kids.
It could be - I'm yearning for time alone. I'm yearning for a deeper connection. I'm yearning for more time rest or more peace.
Then, once you know what it is you want to feel (peace / rest / stillness / kindness / connection / energy / happiness etc) think about how you can craft that into a sentence
I'm a woman who is kind to herself and her kids
I'm a woman who makes time for herself
I'm a woman who enjoys life
I'm a woman who nourishes herself
I'm a woman who treats herself with love
Once you've got your phrase - use it - use it throughout your day, let it guide your thinking and your actions - and watch how you move so beautifully into your natural self.
Share in the comments below! I always love to hear how you're doing! Plus I love to see you as you really are :)