When you want to go forward but you're going backwards......
This happened to me a while ago - I was on my friends horse, my favourite horse - her name's Philly. And you know she's a young horse, and I'm a young rider + as I was riding her through a track I wanted to go up, she just stopped. I looked around, I couldn't see anything disturbing or worrying, so I urged her forward, she moved backwards. I urged forwards, she moved backwards. I urged forwards, she moved backwards. I felt so frustrated, very unsure of myself and her, and even though I knew getting off was the wrong thing to do - it's all I wanted to do. I wanted to take the easy way out - I knew I could lead her. I wanted to quit. I didn't want the challenge. I wanted to cry like a little kid. I was alone on my ride - I was feeling scared, and like a total idiot and failure.
What on earth was I doing wrong?
Why wasn't she moving forward?
How could I get her to move forward?
This happened months ago - but I only just put the pieces together recently.
This was a metaphor for what was going on in my life. (Anything / everything is a metaphor!)
At that time, there were somethings in my life that were going backwards - and I had no idea how what I was doing wrong or how to change it.
So how did I change it on the horse?
Well I didn't. I got off and I realised part of the reason I was feeling so upset was because I felt powerless, and I didn't know what I should have done in that instant to get her to change her mind about moving with me in the direction I wanted to go.
I got off - and when I got home, I asked my friend's advice - exactly what should I do in that situation? - With the horse I mean.
Her advice........Put her to work. If she doesn't want to move forward that's fine, but she doesn't get to move backwards, get her moving around in circles, disengage the thoughts that are keeping her stuck and not moving forwards......
So what's my point?
If there's something you want to achieve, a path you want to take, a dream you're moving towards - but you find you're moving backwards
.........Disengage from your stinky thinking - if you're not moving forwards - you're probably in your own way. What I mean is, you're probably thinking something that's keeping you stuck..... "I don't know how to do this" "I'm not good enough" "It'll never work" "it's too hard" "it's already been done" etc. There are a bunch of ways you can do this - my favourite, and daily practice is here
..........Put yourself to work. Instead of freaking out or stressing out about going backwards or forwards - do the damn work you need to do. There are likely 5 tasks you could do that would actually be forward motion. If you can't see anything that will help you get where you need to go, do something that will set the stage for you feeling better - go for a walk or a run, do something you've been putting off - like clean the bathroom (note to self!) or do something kind for someone else.
..........Relax. When you stop focusing so sharply on the destination and just chill out - then you can move. Your muscles loosen and energy has a chance of moving through you. You might do this by getting to bed earlier, catching up with a friend, going to a class - yoga, pole dancing, surf lessons or painting. What's something that would make you feel better, feel at ease, feel more alive, feel more like yourself?
Moving forward isn't so hard when we stop, breath, and empower ourselves.
I'd love to hear where you're at - Does this resonate with you? Does it work for you?
What helps you move forward?
How can I help you get where you want to go?
Horses always help me see more clearly.
What helps you?
See you on the journey
All my love